(4 minutes reading time)
I am different. When I was growing up, I used to cry when the family played board games. Teaching young children to compete with each other and the worst one loses? It was so wrong!
My parents then invented cooperative games for young children: Only the whole group of players could win together. Such games didn’t exist at that time. When I was at school, most kindergartens in Germany had their “Wundergarten” or “Drachenspiel”.
I am different. When I was a child, my bed had cupboards underneath, which was very handy for storing things. One day I took out the back of one of these cupboards and discovered that I could climb under the bed, close the cupboard door and have a secret space in complete darkness.
There was something very beautiful about just lying there in the dark. Much later in my life I learned that this is a highly advanced spiritual technique to raise our frequencies, bring us into self-love and connect us to the divine feminine.
I am different. I went to school because I was forced to. My constant questioning of the weird systems and strict concepts that humans have built for themselves must have driven my teachers crazy. And to judge, shame and punish children (and adults) for making mistakes, when mistakes are one of our best ways of learning?
There were only two reasons for me to go to school: to see my friends, and to look into the eyes of a girl I was currently in LOVE with. And I was always in LOVE with someone. It kept me alive.
I am different. Because my parents left the church before I was born, I was able to opt out of Christian religious education at a certain age. I felt that there was something wrong with a symbol of cruelty being the centre of attention in the churches.
Instead, I read “Siddharta” by Herman Hesse, books on lucid dreaming and astral travel, and “Autobiography of a Yogi” by Paramhansa Yogananda.
I am no more special than you. Just different. Some judge or exclude me because they think that I think I am special. These projections and power plays make me sad. They don’t like to look outside their safe boxes, drawers and comfort zones.
At times I like to feel vulnerable, for example by fasting. It makes me feel fully human. Hooray, I am human! Some humans lack humanity when they hunt down those who are different and do not fit into their own box.
I am different. All my life I have wondered why we only think in black and white: a closed, romantic relationship or a friendship? No shades or colours allowed? No appreciation for holding hands, long hugs, cuddles or even kind, loving words? But I was too afraid to leave this rigid, closed system, because the pressure from society seemed impossible to overcome.
After my last traditional relationship, I heard this inner voice: Nils, you will never be able to have it the old way again. Find the new possibilities! While writing, I began to ask: What do I need to feel safe? The characters in my books started to connect in new ways, building safe and stable relationship networks, like mycelia. It felt beautiful.
I am different. In the year when hugging was forbidden for many humans, I asked myself why it feels so good to hug someone you trust.
While writing, I received many answers about chakra and energy balancing during hugging meditations and how the Maries and the High Priestesses and High Priests of the ancient times used this as their main healing power.
Tell me:
Why are YOU different?
How does it feel to be different?
Is your uniqueness appreciated and welcomed by others?
Or do you try to fit into the same boxes as others and not show your true colours, because some would judge you, exclude you, or even hunt you?
What would the world be like if we all loved and supported each other’s differentness?